Musings and Leadings

The ideas and musings of Ashley M. Wilcox

I am a Quaker minister and a lawyer, originally from Anchorage and currently living in Atlanta. I share an apartment with my partner Troy and our two orange cats. In addition to reading and writing, I enjoy a good laugh, swimming, yoga, knitting, and singing. To learn more about me, click here.


Conflict Resolution (Matthew 18:15-20)

If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.  If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.  Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.  Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.
Matthew 18:15-20 (NRSV)


Steps in conflict resolution based on Matthew 18:15-20:

  1. Go to the person directly to express the concern.

  2. If that does not resolve the conflict, meet jointly with others that you both trust.

  3. If that does not resolve the conflict, jointly bring it to the church.

  4. If that does not resolve the conflict, there is a break in the relationship, but go forward treating each other with love, like Jesus treated Gentiles and tax collectors.

  5. Ask God for help: God is with you when you try to work through conflicts.


Ashley Wilcox